Relationships are hard.
It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about friends or lovers, or whether you’re single or married or divorced. It’s much like Philip K Dick writes in Ubik (also available on Audible):
You can’t live very long without arousing hostility; you can’t please everybody, because people want different things. Please one and you displease another.
Fortunately, it’s not all hopeless. For inspiration, here are some of my favourite Seth Godin quotes from his 2021 blog posts, together with a recommended title from Blinkist.
Kindness isn’t always easy or obvious, because the urgent race to the bottom, to easily measured metrics and to scarcity, can distract us. But bending the arc toward justice, toward dignity and toward connection is our best way forward. ~ Three types of kindness
Learn more: Lovingkindness
Tolerance doesn’t mean permitting behaviour that undermines the community. In fact, it requires that we put the community first. Instead, it’s a willingness to focus on contribution instead of compliance. ~ Tolerance
Learn more: Moral Tribes
Sometimes, we assume that the person we’re engaging with knows exactly what we mean and want to express. But that assumption is often wrong, and a little redundancy can go a long way. ~ Useful redundancy
Learn more: Missing Each Other
Almost none of our choices in the world are the result of independent direct experience. Instead, we make them in the context of culture, of our surroundings, of ‘people like us do things like this.’ We choose to align with a segment of the culture and take our cues from them. ~ The coordinators
Learn more: Social Physics
We might be settling scores or we might be opening doors. It’s up to us. ~ Grievance and possibility
Learn more: 30 Lessons for Loving
Culture is almost always improved not by what the masses want tomorrow, but by what a small and dedicated group of people are willing to commit to for the long run. ~ Publishers, curation and algorithms
Learn more: Human Hacking
We can seek to trigger those we’ve decided are our enemies, undermine the standards and burn it all down. Or we can commit to the possibility that together, we can create something that works. ~ Count Me In
Learn more: Why Are We Yelling?
Flexibility, community, and a sense of possibility can go a long way. That doesn’t make it easier, but it’s our best path forward. ~ Resilience
Learn more: Social Intelligence
“I’m sorry” can simply mean, “I see you.” ~ The confusion about “sorry”
Learn more: The Apology Impulse
We’re the sum total of the interactions we choose to create and the changes we contribute. ~ And who are you really?
Learn more: The Power of Strangers
Everyone has their own history, their own biases and their own irrationalities. Personification is a useful shortcut if it helps us make smart predictions about others, but it’s a trap if we assume that we’re the only ones who are right. ~ Errors in Personification
Learn more: Connect
The words someone uses don’t accurately convey everything they’re feeling and thinking. They simply stake out some of that in a way that the speaker hopes will express the point they’re trying to make. ~ The map is not the territory
Learn more: Reclaiming Conversation
When we have a chance to make things better for the people we care about, we usually realise that this is exactly the thing we hope to do. But first, we need to see what our choices are based on and where they lead. ~ Good fences
Learn more: How to Win Friends & Influence People
Every time we fail to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who can create value, we not only hurt them, but we hurt ourselves as well. ~ The benefit of the doubt
Learn more: Just Listen
If you’re the kind of person who believes in what’s all around us (which is most of us), then you won’t change your beliefs until the people around you change as well. ~ Two ways to challenge the status quo
Learn more: The Influential Mind
Feedback is a gift. It lets you know precisely what the other person wants or needs. After you receive the gift, it’s up to you to accept it or not. But shutting down feedback with an argument or by appearing ungrateful makes it less likely you’ll be offered it again. ~ “No problem” is a problem
Learn more: Mindsight
No need to change the world. A tiny part of the world, even one person, is enough for today. ~ “But of course!”
Learn more: Influence
Cooperation, connection and the power of being in sync is getting more important every day. We do better together. ~ Simple Connection Tools
Learn more: How to Be a Power Connector
Favours are part of the glue of our culture. It’s not easy to ask for a favour, it’s not always easy to say yes, but when the two people engaged in this dance find a connection, it means something. ~ The programmatic ask
Learn more: Helping
No one wants exactly what you want, sees what you see, believes what you believe. That’s normal. ~ Raining on your picnic (on your birthday)
Learn more: Humble Inquiry
While there are definitely some super villains among us, it’s more likely we’re simply dealing with someone who feels like he’s drowning. ~ When in doubt, look for the fear
Learn more: Surrounded by Idiots
Insisting that someone choose sides might feel like the satisfying and urgent thing to do, but it rarely leads to enrollment and action. ~ “You’re either with us or against us”
Learn more: Talking Across the Divide
As much as we might want an oracle, there aren’t any. What we need, it turns out, are supporters who trust us and have our back. ~ The oracle
Learn more: Daring to Trust
Markets often persuade us that we don’t have enough. Communities remind us that we do. ~ All the stuff
Learn more: Abundance
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